Three year sabbatical

Aaaaand I'm back.

Can you believe it? I last posted on this blog three years ago, almost to the exact day. THREE YEARS! Life has a way of becoming a run away train and I was no longer the conductor driving. Three years of following something or someone elses's lead has helped me flow with the guidance of the Divine hand in my life yet it has created space for me to come back to the driver's seat as well. Allow me to explain.

Three years ago I was in the throes of juvenile autoimmunity hell. Our daughter Elsa had been diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis when she was 22 months old, after she had completely stopped walking. Her physical pain and emotional anxiety overrode everything else in the house and I jumped into problem solving mode. These three years have been both a black hole of never-ending problem solving and deep light-giving learning. At times I feel anxiety and PTSD swelling up inside at the thought that our baby G is now the same age Elsa was when she stopped walking. So much has transpired in a short period of time that feels like an eternity behind us. I thank God for carrying us all through the darkest years of parenting thus far, and for putting the right people and services in our path. He took the wheel these last 3 years and I lost myself in the service of my daughter.

Yes, she's wearing make-up. A rare treat from her older cousin. 

Our baby G

Facing a illness that could possibly leave our daughter crippled and in pain every day, I did my best to put my ego and fears aside. 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." I battled between fear and love/power. The fear took over when I felt like I was the only one responsible for making things right in her world. If I ever felt alone in solving this medical enigma then I would collapse. I found a lot of strength and comfort in these verses: 

 Therefore, let your hearts be comforted concerning Zion [or Team Ondricek]; for all flesh is in mine hands; be still and know that I am God. (Doctrine & Covenants 101:16)

 He that exalteth himself shall be abased, and he that abaseth himself shall be exalted. (Doctrine and Covenants 101:42) [translation - don't get prideful, thinking you can fix this Amanda...]

 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. (Ether 12:27)

And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order. (Mosiah 4:27)

As I diligently spent a lot of time researching and learning about autoimmunity, holistic healing, emotional healing, whole food diets, cooking, advocating and personal revelation some order returned to our lives. This journey has not only been about L's healing, but also our entire family's healing. 

We give thanks to God in Heaven that she is doing well and rarely experiences physical pain. She has no permanent joint damage and very little inflammation. We manage the autoimmune condition through diet, energy medicine (more on that later), supplements and one biologic drug.

Now that the run away train has slowed down a bit the new year brings with it big goals to write and CREATE more often. All the kids are home this year for home school and writing on this blog will help school me as well. 

Welcome back --- to you, to me, our health, and to a year of more writing. :)