remember

This week alone he has spent hours playing in this rice. He especially loves making "trains" of letters and filling the dump truck and bottles with rice.

the shirt.... not true.

The lady giggled at me for the first time last week. I jiggled the bed around her and we laughed together.
She hardly talks at all when she is well rested but babbles like a giggly girl at a late-night slumber party when she is over tired.

The guy blows my mind with his profound observations:
"S sick in the body"
"Jesus help S share Cecelia toys" after singing 'I'm trying to be like Jesus'
"Jesus helps mommy be happy"
"Jesus upstairs with L"
He speaks the truth. So simple.

motherhood

source

The weight of motherhood both presses down on my shoulders and keeps my feet on solid ground.

Some days I want to be selfish and run off to live a life all my own, and not for anyone else. Those days are my most miserable. I do often need a break to regain strength and fill my cup full once again. I don't need those days as often as I complain that I do.

But then other days I give all the love I have and thank God for these precious souls He has given me to raise. Those days I count my own blessings instead of counting everyone else's. On those days motherhood is most rewarding. Today was one of those days, despite the guy's constant runny nose or the lady's short naps. It was still a most rewarding day to be a mother.

L's 14 week summary

Life has gotten much easier in the last 2 weeks. It still is challenging and we are working on many new skills for L, but I don't feel like I'm losing my mind. :) A step in the right direction.

GROWTH:

• When she was last weighed she was 11 pounds, 11 ounces. 
• We have hauled out the bin of 3-6 month clothes and she is slowly filling them in. 

SKILLS:

• She stands up in our laps a lot (with assistance of course). Her legs are getting stronger, but she does this partly because she is still tense with discomfort and so she locks her knees. 
• Her short neck muscles have improved to a point of no more worries. Her range of motion is normal again and she sleeps with her head facing both ways now, so her once flat head is looking much more round. 
• She is a talker! She coos and talks to me a lot. 
• We are still working on training her to sleep well, both at day and night. She is getting better at sleeping through sleep cycles without crying, and sleeping longer at night. But only with lots of effort on my part. 
• She is working on making good use of her hands. She doesn't reach for much yet, but I give her lots of opportunities. She sucks on them intermittently and I hope she puts them to work to self soothe, so we can more easily toss the binki in the next week or so.

HEALTH:

• Dairy and gluten still make her miserable, even just a bit. And I am still on alert for too much sugar because her yeast rash returned, but quickly went away with lots of coconut oil. Her body is sensitive to any variation from a perfect diet. 
• Overall, her pain's subsiding and she is happier.
• Lots of congestion has plagued our whole household as of late, including her. It effects her night sleep and she wakes up annoyed that she can't breath out of her nose well. 
• She is drooling like crazy... teeth? It seems a little early.

PERSONALITY:

• She is still the same touchy, social girl with one added response - smiling!
• When the pain is nowhere in sight, she is rested and well-fed, she is such a smiley lady. She likes to be with people, but only in small groups. She will smile back and forth with you over and over. I LOVE her smiles. Especially first thing in the morning when she sees her daddy. 

this is a month old, but I had to include her baby blessing picture

we heart you, Deborah!

Capturing December: words and wonderland

when the guy reads books this size he says "words, words, words.."

this was our Christmas winter wonderland

Capturing December: grateful

Cicero wrote "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others."

I have been thinking about gratitude a whole lot. I made a very, very long list in my journal this week of my blessings. It has changed my attitude and my heart. I need a change of heart. This BYU devotional talk began the recent transformation and I plan to listen to it regularly in the coming weeks. I have already listened to it three times. Instead of sharing a picture, I invite you to follow this link and watch the devotional. It is 30 minutes of learning that will last all week long. Merry Christmas and may we be grateful today.

Capturing December: traditions

Some of our Christmas traditions:

• leave Christmas books under the tree, reading them each night
• make gingerbread men and share them with friends 
• caroling to neighbors
• open a gift on Christmas eve
• read the accounts of Christ's birth in the New Testament and Book of Mormon

after we caroled to our neighbors. :) 

a little pre-Christmas fun at the mall

Capturing December: Morning

Thank you grandma, grandpa, Marsh & fam, Brad & fam, and Target for adding so much to our humble Christmas morning! We are so blessed to have received so much love!

Capturing December: Christmas Eve

Picking my favorite part is difficult. 

I loved going to Joon's baptism. He is a stripling spiritual warrior and his baptism started our day off right.

 

I really enjoyed playing (and winning!) Carcasonne AND Ticket to Ride with all the boys. They never suspect the distracted woman in the group will whoop them all twice. 

I am so grateful the lady took decent naps at my brother's house all afternoon and evening. She slept better there than at home. That makes me wonder what is wrong with home....

My sister-in-law's Christmas devotional was very memorable, filled with Christ, His love, and His spirit. She brought us all back to why He is worth celebrating every minute of every day, all year long.

We were pleasantly surprised by our first snow fall of the season on Christmas Eve, even though it prevented us from visiting our dear Sara. :(

I loved all the generous presents received, healthy dinner lovingly prepared, and the delicious sugar cookies decorated. The guy had TONS of fun with the cookies. 

My favorite part was the relaxation, ease, and happiness with which I passed the day. I truly felt joy more than usual. Thank Heavenly Father for that. 

"in honor of my beloved Mexico." I actually said that last night. :)

Thank you to the Stephenson for hosting us and making  the evening incredible. Thank you, Brenda Gay for the cookies!!!

Its the Holiday Season

The guy sure loves the holidays!  And mommy sure does a great job teaching him the words!  I sure love my family.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Capturing December: peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

This is the view from our video monitor. This is my holiday peace: when my babies are resting well. Sleep in heavenly peace, right? Well, today she took one 45 minute nap in the morning. One 45 minute nap in the mid-day. And finally was beyond exhaustion that she slept for 45 minutes in the afternoon and, although she woke up after one 45 minute sleep cycle again, she was too tired to fight it. She literally cried out in one loud wail and went back to sleep for 2.5 more hours when I finally woke her up to eat before her bedtime routine. She is seriously struggling to sleep during the day. The 45-minute intruder is killing me. For weeks now. So today, this is my moment of peace. When she is in bed and asleep for the night. :) Because that is the only time of day that she goes to sleep and stays asleep. Oh, how I love her. Especially when she is well rested and happy.

Improve your holiday

I know my holiday spirit could be improved. If you are like me and need some encouragement, here are some ideas:

image source

In addition, our chiropractor is giving out these suggestions at her office this week. As a devout practicing Jew, she knows there is much we all can do to improve this holiday season, no matter the holiday we are celebrating.

"12 Ways to Help Your Child Upgrade to Joy this Season:

1. Unplug your television and leave it that way.
2. Don't listen to the news. It will happen without you.
3. Remove all video games from your home which involve destroying life forms in any way.
4. Commit to getting your children safely and effectively off of drugs that change the way their brains work.
5. Take time to prepare healthy food every day.
6. PLAY every day.
7. Turn off your cell phone for two hours a day.
8. Read with your child every day.
9. Throw away candy. You don't need it either. 
10. Hug and kiss your children more than you correct their behavior. 
11. Practice spirituality however you see it to be.
12. Embrace every day. There are no 'bad days.'"

I love it. Such powerful ideas to improve our lives. 

four years of "us"

At our wedding breakfast four years ago

This week Jared and I celebrated four years of marriage. What a beautiful journey we've had. So many magical highs. So many meaningful lows. While driving to dinner we shared some of the highlights that have brought us together.
Mine included

• our sealing ceremony
• our honeymoon
• our children's births, including the hypnobirth class we took together
• the Priesthood dedication of our first home, which Jared performed 
• graduation from college TOGETHER!
• our first year anniversary - stopping at Super 8 at 2 am in the worst blizzard the East has seen, and finding silk boxers in our bed. A memory we will never forget. I will never forget the horror either.
• the refiner's fire when Jared's mom got sick and later passed away
• the morning we heard she had died and the prayer that followed
• driving across the country together. Twice.
• moments of forgiveness
• goal setting and achieving together

And many other moments of growth that we have helped each other achieve. Jared, thank you for the journey. I love you more than words can say. May my actions show what my words cannot express. May we each have someone in our lives as kind, dedicated, long-suffering and playful as my dear husband.

How can life not be amazing when you're married in a miraculous place like this?!?

Capturing December: outside lights

My simple attempt at outside lights. With a homemade star that the guy and I made..

My other outside lights.... they have not made it out of the bag and outside yet. :) 

Capturing December: family, tree, and more

I have fallen behind on capturing my Christmas season this month. Here's to catch up. :)

I have never claimed to be a great photographer. Not even a good one at that. But I am striving to capture my little family as we grow. I end up using my phone for everything. It is much easier. 

It still doesn't feel like Christmas yet. I still listen to Christmas everyday. The house is decorated. I have made and bought a few gifts. I am trying. The only day I felt Christmasy was when I saw the Christmas lights and displays at the temple visitor's center. I hope to go back there again this week. I want to feel the Christmas spirit. I want to feel anything other than stress and despair. These three months since L's birth have been harder than I want to admit. She's struggling. I'm struggling. I thank God for Jared and the holy Spirit who are helping me through it all.

One of the few moments when I really laughed. We did this to his face over and over again for like 10 minutes in front of the mirror. He kept laughing and saying, "close my eyes, mommy!" :)

Thank you for the stickers, Grma!

My lady

This little treasure was added under the tree this morning. I like that we are at the stage in our marriage when we can call each other mommy and daddy. :)

Simple and big enough for lots of treasures. Thanks Jenn!