sleepless nights

Several nights this week have gone something like this:

• Pump milk at 10:30 pm
• Bed at 11 pm
• Jared comes to bed at 12 am or later
• The guy cries out with coughs or nightmares at 2:30 and 3:30 am
• My body wakes me with anxiety at 4:30 am
• L woke crying at 5, 6 and 6:30

I am beyond exhaustion. Four months without a solid night's sleep and I am succumbing to illness. We all are at our house. Any given night my sleep is disturbed by my own habitual waking, L crying for her pacifier, S's night terrors or molar pains, someone's illness, or Jared's myriad of noises. Early this morning HE was the one having a nightmare and calling out in his sleep. Not to mention the few days a month I have to get up to welcome the little girl I babysit. She arrives at 6:15.

I struggle settling back to sleep too. My mind is restless and I hear every little creak in the neighborhood. We finally moved L out of our room and I take naps when I can. Anyone have any other suggestions to help me sleep better!?!?

remember

This week alone he has spent hours playing in this rice. He especially loves making "trains" of letters and filling the dump truck and bottles with rice.

the shirt.... not true.

The lady giggled at me for the first time last week. I jiggled the bed around her and we laughed together.
She hardly talks at all when she is well rested but babbles like a giggly girl at a late-night slumber party when she is over tired.

The guy blows my mind with his profound observations:
"S sick in the body"
"Jesus help S share Cecelia toys" after singing 'I'm trying to be like Jesus'
"Jesus helps mommy be happy"
"Jesus upstairs with L"
He speaks the truth. So simple.

motherhood

source

The weight of motherhood both presses down on my shoulders and keeps my feet on solid ground.

Some days I want to be selfish and run off to live a life all my own, and not for anyone else. Those days are my most miserable. I do often need a break to regain strength and fill my cup full once again. I don't need those days as often as I complain that I do.

But then other days I give all the love I have and thank God for these precious souls He has given me to raise. Those days I count my own blessings instead of counting everyone else's. On those days motherhood is most rewarding. Today was one of those days, despite the guy's constant runny nose or the lady's short naps. It was still a most rewarding day to be a mother.