This week I have received lots of compliments about S's behavior and disposition. "S" by the way, is also known as the guy, the mister, and our son. :) In the past several days people have voluntarily commented on his good nature and politeness. Friends at play group, friends at book club, the missionaries, neighbors, strangers in the grocery store, family over Skype, many more. I have to agree that this guy is a very well-behaved, polite, happy, kind, and obedient boy. And I tell others that I agree with them. He deserves all the compliments he gets and I thank him every day for his goodness.
That being said, last night I chatted with a pregnant friend about my beliefs on why the guy is so good. This is a loaded question, right? Nature vs. nurture. Credit to me vs. credit to him. On purpose or accidental. Well. The truth is a bit of all of the above. Although I am not professionally qualified to allocate exact percentages of due credit, I am his mother and spend more time with him than any other single person on the planet. And this is my assessment of the greatest contributing factors that make him the angelic person we know and adore.
1. His eternal soul: S is a person independent of his mom and dad. His
soul lived long before we met him and therefore developed long before we had any influence on him. I believe his eternal spirit and personality is that of a positive and happy guy. He just came out that way from the start. He gets all the credit for his eternal spirit. Well, him and his
Heavenly Father who made him, of course.
2. Hypno-birthing: Many of you know we had a natural birth through self-hypnosis. It was a calm several months leading to S's birth because I took time to meditate, breathe, and turn off all my muscles in preparation for the birth. Consequently, I let go of stress and released relaxing hormones and neurotransmitters into my body, like serotonin. I am no expert, but I know this affected him in utero. My stress would affect his development, so how could my lack of it not? Like I said, he just came out calm and at peace. I think those months of relaxation contributed.
3. Routine: From week one Daddy O and I made a lot of effort to give our family consistent routine and predictability. We had to jump right back into our final semester of undergrad, employment, and internships. We could not afford to "go with the flow." We had watched the lives of other parents we know and followed the examples of those who got the results we wanted in our own family. Consequently, we read and adopted the routines recommended by the authors of
On Becoming Babywise. Children thrive on routine and I would not have known how to create routine for a newborn if I had not implemented the principles in this book. At almost 2 years old, the guy still has a daily routine that makes for a predictably happy life.
4. Sleep: Everyone is happier when well-rested, right? Well, the routine described above gave us the needed sleep, both during the day and at night. S was sleeping 8 hours a night at three months old, and still sleeps 12 hours at night with a long afternoon nap. He puts himself to sleep without any needed bribes or treats because his body is in a healthy rhythm and he wakes up happy in the morning. When we don't get him right away some mornings, he patiently talks to himself until we arrive. The key to a happy newborn is proper sleep!
5. Wholesome foods: when our family eats healthy, wholesome food straight from the source (aka mother earth) we are happier. When we eat out, binge on snack foods, or take dietary short cuts, S suffers. Kids need real food to become real happy. (see Section 89 blog in side bar)
"To a great extent we are physically what we eat... What needs additional emphasis are the positive aspects--the need for vegetables, fruits, and grains, particularly wheat. In most cases, the closer these can be, when eaten, to their natural state -- without over refinement and processing -- the healthier we will be. To a significant degree, we are an overfed and undernourished nation digging an early grave with our teeth, and lacking the energy that could be ours because we overindulge in junk foods….we need a generation of young people who, as Daniel, eat in a more healthy manner than to fare on the "king's meat" - and whose countenances show it." (Ezra Taft Benson, Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 476-77)
6: Faith: I told a neighbor today that my son would not be the person he is without our faith and
the gospel of Jesus Christ. We pray together, we study together, and what we believe influences every other action we make as parents. S sees this and it shapes the way he understands the world and himself. He knows about his friend Jesus and he is learning about the divine potential that Christ gives him. Of course that makes him happy too.
7. Love: S receives unconditional love from his parents. We show it everyday with words, snuggles, thank yous, playing, reading, listening, waiting, and helping. He is secure that we love each other and that we love him. This makes for a peaceful, happy home and a peaceful happy toddler. We are not perfect, but we still love him every day.
Like I said, we are not a perfect family and we are not experts, but I give credit where credit is due: S, Heavenly Father, helpful education, parental examples, healthy bodies, Jesus and love. There are a million other reasons I could credit like outdoor play, meaningful mentors, a clean home, freedom and safety, clean water, etc. Let's just leave it at that and be grateful we know this little man and appreciate the good boy he is becoming. I thank him every day. And there has never been a more rewarding use of my time.
Anthony even had one to show us! The sticks are believed to give the ladies youth and in return the boys receive candy and eggs, and the men get a shot of alcohol, often brandy. They do this all throughout town from 7 til noon! The ladies often run off to make the men earn their reward and so all morning you find inebriated men chasing stranger women in the streets. Happy Easter!
