October at our house

     

Happy Birthday, Krista!

This is late, as usual, but I could not pass up celebrating my own little sister's birthday. What a treasure this woman is in my life and I cannot forget to thank her publicly.

"She's about this high.

She's smaller than I.

Sometimes I help her tie her shoes.

She's my sister.

And she plays with me

And I hope that she

Is glad that I'm her sister too."

Krista and I used to sing this song to one another, with her singing "she's taller than I, sometimes she helps me tie my shoes." We even performed it for a large group at the DC Temple Visitor's Center when she was about 8. So precious. I am SO SO glad that she is my sister, even though I don't help her tie her shoes anymore.

 Thank you so much, Krista, for being born. Without you our family would not be as good as it is today. You have added such JOY to my life (how appropriate) through your companionship during our adventures. Not to mention the wisdom I've gained through you and from you.

 You let me drag you around the house during our photo shoot as kids. I am not a natural photographer, but thanks for letting me try. And remember when we made up a dance for Dan's Christmas present? You let me rope you in to doing truly humiliating (but super fun) things. 

what the heck!?! BWAHAHAHA!

And then you got too cool for me, but I still wrote to you when I was in AZ. I sent you poems and pictures and letters and missed you so much. Kind of how I miss you now that you live so far. You tolerated my obsessive need to teach you everything I've ever learned in life and forgave my faults. I've never stopped loving or missing you. You have taught me to have more faith, to let go of my need to control everything and everyone, to judge less and listen more, to relax and have fun, to be positive, and to try to make the world better and not accept that "all is well in Zion."

Thank you. I love you. And happy belated birthday!

sleep deprivation

You know you're sleep deprived when:

• you got more sleep during finals week than you do now
• you look in the mirror at the end of the day and see blood shot eyes (that was a first for me!)
• you go to bed at 9 pm when you usually go to bed at midnight (that's Jared)
• all day long you are unable to finish sentences you started
• you fall asleep if you simply stop moving
• 4 hours in a row is a good night
• your eye lids weigh 100 pounds each by 7 pm
• your dreams at night are about how much you wish you were in bed and asleep, even though you already are
• you weep just because you are waking up in the morning

the lady, modeling my cousin's adorable homemade bows

I have thought of so many other reasons during my last few weeks that evidence I am completely sleep deprived, but as soon as I thought them they were gone. Another example of my sleep deprivation: memory loss. I can hardly concentrate some days. But I am happy to report that this week it is getting better. A bit at a time. Poco a poquito. Here a little, there a little. Line upon line. One day at a time, we are getting more sleep and I feel a little more normal. Like an adult, a person, alive again. This newborn phase will end. It will. And I WILL sleep once again.

L's 4 week summary

What a month. Not an easy one. This poor girl has had a difficult introduction to life here on earth. In her four weeks she has suffered through:

• nasal congestion
• latching complications
• a fever
• a butt rash 
• a yeast infection
• severe (and I mean severe!) gas pains
• diarrhea
• lots of sweaty crying fits, the kind that saturate her hair and clothes
• mild spit ups
• sleeplessness due to the gas
• and a crazy, sleepless mom

She has been through a lot and I hope she forgets it all very quickly in the weeks to come, as we work to get rid of the gas pain, correct what is causing it, and teach her how to sleep on her own. But it is no small feat for me or her to do all this. I am exhausted and going kind of crazy. I just keep telling myself that this will not last forever, that life will be normal again some day, and that I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me.   And so can L. But it is extremely difficult to remember that scripture when your daughter is screaming from 8 pm to 2 am, you don't know why, and you don't know how to relieve it. Luckily we have made some progress since that day, and I am holding on to hope. 

For those wondering what has helped, following a daily routine helps (we follow On Becoming Babywise), and her gas has only been relieved by using the Towle Method of colic management. I am also experimenting with my diet. 

Last week she weighed 8 pounds, 8 ounces. Her face is getting fatter and changing. She is so cute. I love those rare moments when she is awake, relaxed and staring at my face. Oh, I love to kiss those growing cheeks in those moments. 

Doesn't she look like she has such an old, troubled soul in a tiny body? 

I know I am meant to learn something profound from this challenging time, and I'm trying to learn it quickly so we can move on. So far I have learned so much. 

Don't judge other parents when their baby is going crazy. We're all doing our best.

Let go of some control. I cannot control my children like I can control other aspects of my world. 

Trial and error. Through my errors, poor L has suffered a few trials. 

Patience, patience, patience.

Long-suffering.

Love and compassion.

Trust not in the arm of flesh. Trust in the Lord.

Relax.

Take time away and trust others to take my place sometimes.

Let go of being a control freak. That's worth mentioning twice.

I love to learn. I just need to remember that when the method of learning is not my chosen method. But in the end, I love to learn and grow. The Lord will have a humble people, right? Whether I chose to be humble or am humbled by outside circumstances, I must be humble. Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble. 

Together, our family is learning and I am so grateful for L for teaching me. I am sure this is just the beginning of  life-long learning that she has to offer. I look forward to learning more from her in the years to come. 

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

This has got to be one of the latest birthday wishes I have ever given. Two whole months late. Don't hate. Appreciate. I'm sorry for all the birthdays I have missed these 2 months. I am catching up. Wow, I lost track of time and was super focused on the nucleus of my world - the kids and husband. Everything else basically fell to the wayside. But I still love all you birthday lovers.

Here's to my sister-in-law, Rachel. This amazing young woman has recently dumbfounded me AGAIN. She never ceases to surprise and amaze me.

First of all, she is a genius, far more disciplined at teaching herself than I was at 14. At age 12, she was having full conversations with me (a college student) about the intricacies of raising bees and I was basically left in the dust of her intense real-world knowledge. (That's what homeschooling can do for a kid!) She is so smart and gifted.

Second, Rachel knows how to have fun, and with any age group to boot! She can giggle it up with the toddlers and find a game for the guy, or sit and enjoy a religious chat with the adults. She is so flexible, adjustable, and teachable.

Next, she is a tender heart that is close to the Spirit of the Lord. Although she does not wear her heart on her sleeve like some teenage females, she knows when to be tender and emotionally real. In those moments when God is close and emotions are real, so is Rachel. One such moment reminded me of her depth when she was visiting and helping us after L was born. Rachel played a song that she wrote on her guitar, and sang the words for us. In that brief moment, the chaos left the house, peace descended, and her song made us cry. Truth be told, I wept. Thank you for that gift, Rachel. It was so tender for me.

Finally, Rachel loves animals; a gift we do not have in common. I think that's why I admire it. Anyone who is close to these special creatures and can care for, listen to, and bond with God's animals has my admiration!

Happy LATE birthday Rach! I love you so much and thank God we are sisters.

observe

These two weeks since L was born, I have been reminded of the importance to observe carefully. Not only did I enjoy the reminder during our world-wide church General Conference to "first observe, then serve" but as a parent I know I need to observe my wee ones more. 

My little lady is new to this world and family, and we are just getting to know each other. I did not observe her closely enough in the beginning. There were many distractions. But this morning I have tuned in to her and our lives are better because of that choice. Peace has returned and I appreciate her uniqueness more. 

Observations about the guy right now:

• Since L's birth, he has adopted a little stuffed bear that never interested him before. He has invited this bear to dine with us, pray with us, nap with him, ride in his bike basket, and give kisses. I like that he has found a positive way to cope with mom's distractions on the baby. He adopted a baby of his own! He will be  a tender daddy one day. 
• He loves music, especially the harmony that Grandma's voice has added to singing time in our home. He notices the pleasant difference from my dimensionless melody. 
• When picking out his shoes, he always picks his Doc Martin's. He must like the way they feel. I only choose them for church, so he started it. And he wore them today with his sweat pants. :) 
• He has gotten louder and more rambunctious lately. Nothing out of the norm, just acting more like a 2 year old boy. Lots of energy and loud voices.
• Trains are the coolest things in the world to this little man.
• He is talking so much that I have lost track of all the new words he learns every day. He is a talking machine, repeats everything we say, and is getting better with pronunciation. 
• He was obsessed with jumping last week. Everywhere he went he wanted to jump there. Although he is not strong enough to jump yet, he follows our lead when we encourage him to strengthen his quads, with the express purpose that he will be able to jump by himself. 

Observations about the lady right now:

• She is a sensitive diva. Her surroundings have to be just right for her to fall asleep on her own.
• She is sensitive to noise, light, and heat and sweats quite a bit.
• She doesn't like lots of people in her face at once. 
• She has a small sleep window before she is very overstimulated and unable to calm down on her own.
• She likes being snuggled, but what newborn doesn't?!?
• She likes hanging out naked, probably because of the cool air on her skin.
• She loves skin on skin time, but dislikes tummy time.
• She loves her pacifier, but mostly when she is already tired and it is a challenge to focus on it. But she does love to suck on it; more than I expected. 
• At her appointment yesterday she weighed 7 lbs, 13 oz - almost a full pound past her birth weight! Her head circumference increased an inch and she is a quarter inch taller. You go girl!

sneak peak

Here's a sneak peak of our family photo shoot. Praise and glory to our photographer, Rachel! What a woman. She was so good with our kids (and their grumpy mom), came to our home, accommodated our crazy lives, and gave us a steal for such treasured moments captured on film. Now that the stress is over, I am so glad we did this. I can't wait to see more of the shoot. 

I just want to weep with joy looking at these pictures. I love my little family so much, especially this daddy-daughter moment. Heavenly Father has been so good to us. Man, I love my family!

showered with love

Thank you to everyone who came, contributed, and celebrated with us at my baby shower. I felt so overwhelmed with love and appreciation that day. What a day, showered with gifts, goodies, and girlfriends!

Thank you so much! I had so much fun. 

Do you ever see pictures of yourself and think, "Is that really what I look like?" This baby shower was full of pictures like that. Especially since I don't have lots of pictures of the pregnant Amanda. :) 

Sorry Little L. I think that move right there pushed her into my pelvis. :) Poor girl. 

One of the photographers for the day. Thanks!!

It IS a girl. For real. There were moments when I wondered if I might have a boy and have all these pink clothes for him. Would have been awkward because I already shared all my boy clothes with my sister and her newborn. 

A.MAZ.ING.

Don't worry. I overcooked the one dish I made for my own shower. This beauty was left in the oven 20 extra minutes because I got so caught up in the friends arriving. Oops. It still tasted good, though. And apparently someone else ate it too. :) 

LOVED these. And what I am doing in the background?

One of my amazing hosts. She did the decorations and they ROCKED. My house never looked so cute. 

Our other host! Thanks to her raffle, I got tons of diapers. My kind of practical shower gift. Thanks, Shan!

"little sister"

The only man there for most of the shower, the brother-in-law and wife drove like 3 hours to party with us. Thanks for coming, Nutmeg! you were the best surprise of the day. Jared and the guy went out all morning and left the ladies to giggle together. So Nate got to eat all the food before Jared did. :) 

Did I mention that the decorations were adorable?!? (And so are my friends)

Last but not least, the little man got a couple gifts from our neighbors. They are SO thoughtful to include him. Thank you! He loves it. 

Thank you again to everyone. We had a fabulous time!